So I just realized that I have not written in my blog once this year.

Not. Once.

I feel terrible. Especially since I had some cool stuff to write about, like living in China and coming back to Alaska for the first time in 15 years, and Disney World and the Wizarding World of Harry Potter, and so many other shenanigans it's ridiculous that I didn't take the time to write them down.

I feel really bad.

Well, not really bad, but a bit.

So here's an update:

This past year I embraced being a feminist and became much more liberal than I used to be. I went to Shanghai, Hong Kong, Beijing, and climbed the Great Wall of China.

Absolutely amazing.

I met some amazing people, got to see my family again when I came back to AK and meet amazing people here. I got a job as a daycare assistant at the BGC in Anchorage, where I continued learning what it's like to have terrible management, but also how to take care of babies better than I ever have before and learn to love them more (which I didn't know was possible).

I've done so much and seen so much this year that there's no way one post will be able to do everything justice. It's really been an amazing year, and I'm greatly looking forward to the future. I plan on moving to Moscow (hopefully) soon to be a governess (so I'm continuing with the "teaching English" part of my life), where I plan to make a ton of money, get out of debt, and actually learn Russian (which I should have done in college with my Russian classes, but I digress). My family has been amazing. Dad is currently in Kabul on a six month deployment (and we're grateful it's not a year), and we miss him terribly. We got to Skype him last night and he said there had been a bomb detonated in the morning there. I guess this isn't the first time they've had to deal with this, which scares me a little bit, because I hate to think of my dad having to deal with things like that, but we are managing and I pray for him just about every night.

I've loved my singles ward here. I've made a couple of very special friends. I've also realized I'm a bit lonely, but I'm not willing to give up my independence just yet, nor do I think I need a man to feel good about myself, but it would be nice to have someone to talk to every now and then (and make out with. Just sayin'.).

I got my Patriarchal blessing in October before Dad left, which held some amazing information for me that I really needed to hear, and made me very excited for my future. This prompted D.J. to get his just a week later. I'm grateful for the great example my baby brother is. He's truly amazing in every way.

I dyed my hair a few different colors. I wore a lot of black (so not much has changed there). I ate scorpions at a Chinese night market (they're really crunchy and salty).

I sang a lot of karaoke and competed in a mock American Idol competition at Disney World (and won my first round).

I literally went to Hogwarts and almost died of happiness.

I've had so many amazing experiences and opportunites, it literally boggles my mind sometimes to think of the things I've done, and what I've got to look forward to. I've laughed, danced, cried, and sung my heart out more times than I could count. I've been incredibly happy, which is all a girl can ask for in this world, I think :)

If this post seems random, that's because, well, it is. I read a quote once that basically said that from day to day our lives seem ordinary and don't really change, but one day you look back and everything is different, and it's so true.

To all of my friends and family, I love you so much. This year would not have been what it was without any of you. To my friends I haven't really gotten to talk to this year, I haven't forgot about you, and I miss and love you as much as I ever have.

I think I only have one resolution for 2014: make it even better than 2013. I hope the New Year brings perpetual happiness and prosperity for all of you :)

Gay Marriage Opinion: Revised Edition

And also a little update, in my last post I talked about how I was really indecisive about gay marriage. I've basically decided that although I don't agree with homosexuality, that it would be wrong of us as a nation to withhold the rights of others. Some people are trying to say it goes against what the Founding Fathers intended with the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence, but that's bollocks, because in the DoI it says that ALL MEN (even the gay ones *gasp*) are entitled to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Well, if they want to get married, and you're restricting their ability to do that, guess what? YOU ARE DENYING THEM THEIR RIGHT TO THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS, WHICH IS GOING AGAINST WHAT THE FOUNDING FATHERS WANTED, WHICH MEANS YOU ARE THE UNCONSTITUTIONAL ONES, NOT GAY PEOPLE.

Boom. Logic, without having to get religious (which shouldn't happen, because of separation of the church and state and all that jazz). It's really simple, people. If you don't like homosexuality, then don't be homosexual. If you think it's a sin, then don't practice it. I think drinking and smoking are sinful, but you don't see me giving people crap about it, or trying to prevent them from drinking or smoking. If two consenting adults WHO JUST SO HAPPEN TO BE THE SAME GENDER want to get married, then let them.

See how easy that was? I can maintain my religious beliefs while still letting other people who don't share them go on their merry way. Christ said to love one another, and He didn't give any conditions on who we're supposed to love; He meant ALL people. I know we all have free speech and yada yada yada, but don't be hateful or cruel. And if you think the opposing side is being hateful and cruel, turn the other cheek (another thing Christ said to do). Etiquette, people. And if you feel like the other side doesn't have, it's no excuse for you to lose yours.

I feel the need to write this down.

So today is gonna get a bit Mormon-y, so if you're uncomfortable with that, tune out now.

For the rest of you who stayed to read on, I just want to talk about something really quick. There's a guy I know from ROTC at BYU, we became alright friends, I've always thought he was a cool dude. A few months ago he said he was taking a break from the church, he had things he needed to sort out and was just done with it. I supported him, because I feel like sometimes people just gotta do what they gotta do. I had no hate for the guy. Well, he just posted about how he's an atheist now, and he said:

"One thing I have discovered is if you think you have the answers or the truth, then you undoubtedly haven't questioned your world view enough. I sometimes envy those of you who can be comfortable with inconsistent, illogical answers to life's mysteries. I don't know how you do it. Every form of idealism I have explored ends up being inconsistent when all the evidence is considered."

For the record, I do not think I have all of the answers in life, or the full truth. In fact, I know I don't; God has said that there are things no man knows, and I truly believe that. But my friend makes it sound like he needs to have all of the answers to believe. I know for a fact God lives; there have been too many things that have happened in my life to prove otherwise, things that are more than just "coincidences." So we don't have all of the answers; so what? I feel like I have enough. And I feel like some of the "evidence" he's talking about doesn't really contradict God in any way. People try far to often to separate science and God, but to me, they support one another. I believe that God is a scientific being, so the science of our universe doesn't dispute the existence of God to me. I remember taking a science class at BYU and having it hit me that everything in science is so freaking perfect, that how could there not be a higher being involved in it? I mean, look at atoms, for Pete's sake, and ionic and covalent bonding; if even one electron didn't bond the right way to another atom, it wouldn't change the entire freaking compound. In science's precision lies the proof of God (for me, at least; I know there are those of you who will disagree).

Look, I know not all of you who read this are religious, or that all of those religious people who read this believe this like I do, but I just want to say that I know God lives. I've felt His hand in my life, and I think I'm just sad to have seen someone who was involved in my church leave it. You don't have to agree with me; but thank the Lord we live in America, where people can worship how they want without getting crap for it, right?

Right, guys?

Guys?

Am I right?

That's another thing I want to talk about. People do not understand what the word "tolerance" means. Too often people think that when someone disagrees with their views, they aren't being "tolerant." Uh, no, that's not being intolerant, that's merely disagreeing with your views. "Tolerance" is when you let people think what they think and don't treat them like an idiot or a horrible person if what they think disagrees with what you think. Read the dictionary, people. I mean, I don't agree with what my friend is saying, but I can respectfully share my view without telling him he's an idiot. In fact, if I have any hope of him one day returning to the church, that is the exact opposite of how I should act. I should just continue to treat him with love and respect, and then maybe one day he'll change his mind. Or maybe he won't, and he will just continue on being an awesome dude that doesn't believe in God anymore. Whatever. I have my opinions, and he has his. And the world hasn't ended. Amazing!

Something I've been thinking about (the worst organized blog post EVER)...

So recently and again, gay marriage has become a hot button topic in the political world.  North Carolina voted in favor of an amendment banning homosexual marriages, and shortly after President Obama came out openly in support of gay marriage.

In my church, we are taught that acting on homosexuality is a sin; we've repeatedly been told that we shouldn't be in support of gay marriage because it defies what God's plan is for the family.  Towards the end of the school at BYU, there was a gay student panel made up of four homosexual/bisexual students that were brave enough to come out and discuss their struggles with same-sex attraction while still being faithful members of the church.  It was one of the most inspiring things that I think has ever happened at my school, and I'm proud to have been there while it happened.

Being Mormon, we are often looked down upon for our church's view on homosexual marriages, and this can be really hard while also being from California.  This is a topic that I personally have been struggling with for a while now.  I want everyone to be happy, and logically this would mean letting all people have equal marriage rights; however, I believe the law of God to be above the law of man, and do believe that "wickedness never was happiness;" along those lines, since homosexuality is a sin, even if practicing it in this life makes them happy now, God will punish them for it after they die.  Of course, this is not an argument I can use validly, especially among many of my peers who don't believe in God or believe that since we don't follow all parts and laws of the Bible, we shouldn't be allowed to condemn homosexuality because the Bible says so.  There's the equally appealing argument that people use when they say that nowhere does Jesus actually condemn homosexuality, and I can't just say that we have modern revelation condemning homosexual practices, because only Mormons will believe that (and only the Conservative ones, for that matter haha).  It's a ridiculously fine line to tread.

Now, I believe the greatest law above all others is to love everyone.  I think many people misunderstand that when my church condemns homosexuality, it is not condemning homosexuals themselves; we love everyone, especially those that struggle with their homosexuality in a church that condemns it.  They have some of the strongest faiths that I've ever heard of, and I love them for the bravery that they demonstrate on a daily basis.  Rather, when the gospel condemns homosexuality, it is condemning the practice of it; there are many worthy homosexual members within our church that refrain from acting upon their urges and are able to hold temple recommends and callings worthily.  We do not push out members for having homosexual tendencies.

Personally, I don't really know whether I'm in support of gay marriage or not.  Part of me wants to stick with the gospel that I have been born and raised in (and believe in), while the other part of me hates to see earthly happiness restricted to so many people.  I know, I know, there are those homosexual members in the church who end up in a heterosexual marriage and it ends up working out for them, and that's great; but honestly, I think those are the rare exception.  More times than not, a gay Mormon is not going to end up in a happy and healthy heterosexual relationship.  I feel like all people should be happy, but still have that nagging feeling in the back of my mind that gay marriage is not something God would approve of, and ultimately I care more about what God wants than what people want (call me crazy, but we all have our beliefs).


I know that from what I've written it mostly sounds like I'm against gay marriage, and I think that at my core, I am; I don't know how to justify the unhappiness of so many people, though, and it seriously tears me up inside.  I know some of you are thinking, "Just support gay marriage then, that's the only way," but it's honestly not that easy, no matter how much you say it is.  This issue is not as black and white as so many people on both sides think it appears to be.  I wish that there were a way for gay people in the church to be able to have the same happiness as those straight members without having to go to such extremes as marrying a person of the opposite gender.

And I know that not all of you reading this believe in God, I get that, but that is my own personal opinion.  I know you think that we're hateful because we support laws that restrict others' happiness, but I have seen plenty of hate come from your side as well.  There's such a thing called "tolerance" of other peoples' opinions, and I feel that when it comes to the topic of gay marriage, there is very little tolerance on either side of the argument.  Many extremists against gay marriage go too far in saying God hates gay (which is a blatant lie, because He loves everyone), but then there are those in support of it that believe those who support traditional marriage hate gays (which is not true; I support traditional marriage, but most definitely do not hate gay people).  I respect your opinion; I may not agree with it (like I said, this is a topic that perplexes my soul), but I will allow you to believe it without bashing you for it.  All I ask is that while I express my own opinion, you don't bash me for mine.

Post-Grad Life

It has been quite a while since I have been on here, obviously, and a TON has happened.  I went to Holland for Christmas, which was amazing and fantastic, mostly because I was hanging out with my family and the missionaries and Andrew (a friend from my family's ward).  Then I came back to school, unfortunately didn't make the ballroom team or either of the gold classes (although I DID win 3rd place in Mambo at DanceSport in March, on my birthday, thank you very much), but this was probably a good things because I got a bit busy with my last semester and all.  Which leads me to my most important piece of news: I GRADUATED COLLEGE!  I know, I know, it's a freaking miracle.  And I graduated with over a 3.0 GPA, too, which is even MORE astounding considering how bad I usually do during my winter semesters (as demonstrated with my 2.74 and 2.86 GPAs for the first two winter semesters I had.  My third was a 3.02 and my fourth a 3.19.  AND I graduated on time, too.  I am a champion).

So now that I've moved out of Provo (and away from my HIDEOUS landlords), I'm back in Fairfield living with Kathy and Chris for the next month, and in the process of getting ready for China.  Yeah, you read that right, CHINA.  I still can't really believe it, either.  I don't think it'll be real until I'm at the airport.  My Chinese roommate Kexin hooked me up with a guy she knows back home that runs his own English-teaching business and got me a job as a teacher.  It's a pretty sweet set-up, actually; I get a monthly salary (a little over $1200), along with free room and board AND food during the week.  I'll pretty much only need to pay for food on the weekends, personal items like toiletries, and whatever traveling expenses that I have from going all over China and (hopefully) other countries.  Kexin will be out in June for a couple of months, and a couple of our roommates from this year will be Thailand for a couple of months, so we're going to try and visit them while they're there; how cool would that be?!  I'm becoming quite the world traveler.  Mom and Dad are being very supportive of all this craziness; they're just happy I'm going to have a job to pay off my student loans with.  They even encourage me to travel, and that they'll help with a bit of the interest on my loans.  Of course, I don't want them to do that, so I think I'll end up staying longer than my already planned year there so I can make a bit of extra cash, for both loans a some money for a new car.  I really hope I end up liking it, so I'll be more inclined to stay longer.  I'm REALLY hoping I'll like it to stay long enough to save up money so I can get braces once I'm back in the States.  I won't be on my parents' insurance anymore, so it will be much more expensive than if I were.  I know my employer is eager to please so that I stay as long as possible (they like to keep their teachers there for as long as possible so the kids have consistency in teachers), so I'm sure I'll find just about everything to my satisfaction.  I'll have internet there, so I'll still be able to Skype and blog and stuff (and if I download a good proxy, get on Facebook and Youtube haha), and my parents are even trying to figure out a phone situation for me.  Luckily, I convinced my good friend Rachel to come and join me, so she'll be out in August sometime, where we'll live together and play with little Chinese kids everyday :)  I don't think I would be so excited about this if she wasn't coming with me, so I'm grateful I convinced her to haha.  We even have a couple of different options in regards to attending church, so I think we will be well set up there.

Unfortunately, I lost my passport in the midst of moving, so now I'm in the process of quickly getting another one, which unfortunately costs a ton of cash, but luckily my mummy had some saved up from VA benefits, so we're able to use that for it.  I also have to start a new visa application, since my original one is to my old passport, and I lost my birth certificate so I have to get a new one of those, too.  It's been a bit hectic, but we're making it work.  I'm just grateful to be done with college and on my way to a fabulous opportunity to experience the world and a different culture.

Speaking of Chinese culture, can I just say I'm a bit scared of Chinese food?  I mean REAL Chinese food, not the stuff they serve at Panda Express.  As delicious and orange chicken is, it's not what I'll be eating in China; I've heard that there's a lot of seafood in China, which I'm okay with, so I'm thinking I'll be good.  At least, I hope so.  I'm just going to have to suck it up, because either I'll starve, or I'll gorge myself on rice and get super fat, which CANNOT happen.  If anything, I want to try and LOSE weight while I'm in China, so let's hope I can somewhat accomplish that goal, even if it's just keeping weight off haha.  I finally lost all of the weight I gained over the summer (thanks to ballroom), and although I'm not fat right now, I'm a bit curvy and could stand to lose a few pounds, so I at least need to keep weight off.  Cross your fingers for me, everybody!

But alright, it's 2:36 AM as of this moment, and I'm SUPER tired now and have quite a bit to do tomorrow (mostly grading papers for Kathy to make some extra cash).  But before I leave, of COURSE I need to do a Hottie of the Post!  Today's lucky winner is Columbus Short.

Brotha is fiiiiiiiiine.  There just isn't a picture that does him justice, honestly.  He is a fantastic actor, as well as an amazing dancer - watch "Stomp the Yard" if you want to see (not the greatest movie, but his acting is great, and there's some awesome dancing.  And eye candy.  Ahem.).  Part of my liking for him is his charisma on screen - he is chock full of it.  He's currently on the ABC drama "Scandal," and since watching it I've remember how freaking hot he is.  So therefore, he is my flavor of the post.

Anyway, now it's 2:48.  At this rate I won't wake up until 3 in the afternoon tomorrow, so it's time for me to go.  Love you all!

A New Year

It's crazy to think that it's already 2012.  It means that I only have one semester left before I graduate from BYU with a Bachelor's degree.  It means that in a few short months I actually have to start my life.  And if you're a conspiracy theorist, it also means that the world is ending in December haha.

But seriously.  2011 was actually a really great year.  It wasn't perfect, but I met so many awesome people that my life wouldn't be the same with.  I've gotten to do some AMAZING things (Berlin, Switzerland, Roma, Cologne, and not to mention BALLROOM!), things that have enriched my life sooooooo much.  I've had such a good year, I think it's going to take a lot for 2012 to try and top it.

Tomorrow I leave for Provo again.  I begin my last semester on Wednesday, and immediately have auditions for classes that day and auditions for team the night after that.  But for this semester, yes, I will strive to do well in my classes and finish strong in my grades (by the way, I got a 3.53 this semester!  Best GPA I've ever had :D), but I will also do everything that I can to have a good time and enjoy my last few months as a carefree college student before I have to start making a living for myself.  It's going to be scary, because I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life yet, just speculations, but whatever comes, I want to be ready for it and receive it with open arms.

I hope that as you reflect on 2011, that you remember the good times that you had, but also see what you can do to make 2012 better.  I know that I want to make it my best year so far.  May 2012 bring you all much happiness and many blessings <3

Little Blessings

So it's currently after 2 AM here in Provo, and I've been attempting to work on my research paper for my humanities class.  I also have another paper due for my history class, and I thought they were due on the same day because my roommate had told me the history paper was due on Tuesday, but turns out it's not due until Thursday!  This makes me glad, because it gives me more time to work on my humanities paper, and then a couple of extra days to work on my history one.  This means more sleep for me!  I'm really happy, if you couldn't tell.  I tell you, it's the little things in life that make it all worthwhile :)