So it's currently after 2 AM here in Provo, and I've been attempting to work on my research paper for my humanities class. I also have another paper due for my history class, and I thought they were due on the same day because my roommate had told me the history paper was due on Tuesday, but turns out it's not due until Thursday! This makes me glad, because it gives me more time to work on my humanities paper, and then a couple of extra days to work on my history one. This means more sleep for me! I'm really happy, if you couldn't tell. I tell you, it's the little things in life that make it all worthwhile :)
Monday, November 28, 2011
Saturday, November 26, 2011
Research Papers are the Devil
Seriously. And I have two due on Tuesday. Granted, one of them is only a rough draft, but the other one, the one that I can't figure out what to write about, is due for real. Why do I always procrastinate these things? You think I'd have learned after three years of college, but nope.
Anyway, other than that, life is alright. I have medals exams for three of my ballroom classes this week (kind of nervous about those!) and there's only about a week and a half of real classes left before reading days and finals. Yeah, you read that right, THE SEMESTER IS ALMOST OVER. It went by so freaking quick, let me tell you. And now that we've decided I'm graduating in April instead of August, that means I only have one more semester of college left. LESS THAN FIVE MONTHS UNTIL I AM A COLLEGE GRADUATE. I can't believe it. You think high school will take forever, and then college will, but no, it goes by waaaaaaaay quicker than you would think. And what sucks is that all of my plans are disapparating before my very eyes. I want to do the military thing, but all of the cutbacks going on are making that a very unlikely career at the moment. So what to do? I don't know. I would just get married, but we know how I am with boys.
Speaking of boys, I have a really good story for you all! Well, good as in funny, not as in it ends well. So there's this boy, whom we shall call Mr. Ballroom. Obviously, he's a ballroom boy, and he's in two of my classes. We met at the beginning of the semester, and in September he asked me out on a double date with his roommate, and I said yes, and it was a fine date. Free food, free ticket to World of Dance, and he's a nice guy to boot. However, I barely knew him at this point in my life, and decided that I didn't like him in that way. I was pretty sure he liked me after a couple of things (him walking me home after practicing for ballroom, for instance, when he lives almost eight blocks east of me), but I did not reciprocate those feelings. I mean, don't get me wrong, I thought he was super nice and we got along great, but I just wasn't attracted to him. Lame, lame, I know.
At least, this is what I kept telling myself.
I couldn't stop thinking about how much I didn't like him. Then a few weeks ago we had stake conference, and they had an engaged couple speak, and the female in the relationship said that she hadn't initially been attracted to her fiancee, but then she was. Combine this with some advice another ballroom boy gave me ("Men learn to love what they are attracted to, and women learn to be attracted to what they love," which I totally agree with, by the way), and BAM. One day I woke up and realized something.
I had a huge fat crush on Mr. Ballroom.
I couldn't understand what was wrong with me. I had spent weeks telling myself I didn't like him, and all that time I was running away from the truth. I liked him. A LOT.
My roommate Kexin was ecstatic. She loves Mr. Ballroom, and me, and she told me how she wanted us to date so we could get married and I would stay in Provo (since this is Mr. Ballroom's first year back at school after his mission, and he still hasn't chosen a major yet, I would probably be here another couple of years at least, and Kexin is a year or two behind me. We're bff's, if you couldn't tell haha). Of course, I don't want to be hasty, but I'd be lying if I told you it wasn't an appealing thought.
But now I had a dilemma. I liked Mr. Ballroom, but didn't want to wait around for forever for him to make up his mind. So I started flirting, and talking to him as much as I could, and invited him over for dinner (and he came, by the way, and then walked me to the Wilk for an audition before walking home himself). I thought he liked me back, and so did some of my friends.
Apparently, we were wrong. Or at least, partially wrong.
See, like I said, I didn't want to wait around for him forever, so I made up my mind that I was going to be bold and tell him that I liked him. And I did.
Except, I made it the most awkward situation possible.
On Monday we were walking together after class, like we usually do, and had hugged to say goodbye, but I was acting crazy and he could tell, so he said, "What?" Of course, I was losing my nerve, so I said, "Nothing." This happened a couple more times as we walked away from each other, and as Kexin (who is in one of our ballroom classes) and a few more people from our class walked out of the Wilk. So I sucked him up, crooked my finger at him, and he came back over to me. And then I said it. "Okay, I'm just going to put this out there...I really like. So...yeah...bye."
Yup. And he didn't say anything, just kind of nodded, and then I ran away like a little girl to choir. And proceeded to freak out about this on and off for the rest of the day. People told me that I needed to text him to try and remedy the awkwardness of the situation, which I did, and to which he replied, "Nah, don't worry about it, I understand. If you'd prefer to talk in person I feel it's more legit. Will you be around tomorrow?" So we made plans to meet after class, since choir was cancelled for break, and I reassured myself that this was a good thing. At the very least, it wasn't bad, because he wasn't avoiding me. So maybe things would end up with me FINALLY getting a boyfriend, the first of my college career!
That was NOT how the cookie ended up crumbling.
So we go and talk the next day. He doesn't really know how to start this conversation (would you?), but he starts asking the "What are you thinking/hoping is going to happen now?" question. I don't want to freak him out by telling him how much I want to date him, so I ask him how he was, because I felt like I had freaked him out, to which he replies that it was unexpected, but not a total freak-out for him. But then he says it.
"Well, I haven't really thought about this since coming home off of my mission, but I kind of like things the way they are right now. I just say we keep things the same and if something happens down the road, then cool." Or something to that affect.
And I say, "Yeah, this is hard for me too, since I'm graduating in April and don't really know what to do." When in reality, all I wanted to tell him was that we should date, or at least go on another date together. But I agree to just keep things the same, and I felt pretty content, because although the conversation hadn't ended as ideally as I had hoped, at least we were still friends.
But the more I thought about it, the more depressed I got. This was the first guy I had spilled my guts to in five years. And he hadn't even told me if he liked me back, which I thought he had, but apparently I was mistaken. So I talked to some friends, and I Skyped my mom, and have resolved that I still am not going to wait around for him to change his mind. There are other boys that I kind of like, but just don't know as well as him. So I guess we'll see what happens. In any case, I do not expect to graduate college dating/engaged/married.
So yeah, that's the drama in my life right now. How about something beautiful? That's right, it's time for Hottie of the Post! This week we're gonna go with Tom Felton, a.k.a. Draco Malfoy.
I spent too much of yesterday watching stuff about Harry Potter, and realized (or remembered) how smashing Tom actually is. And he is just adorable in his interviews, too. He's funny and nice, and he's British, so he's got the sexy accent to boot :)
Anyway, I need to get back to tearing my hair out about my research paper(s). I hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving with your families and/or loved ones. I'm grateful to some friends for inviting me over to their place for their first married Thanksgiving. Ashley made some amazing food, and they were great company. But that is truly all for now. Ta ta!
Anyway, other than that, life is alright. I have medals exams for three of my ballroom classes this week (kind of nervous about those!) and there's only about a week and a half of real classes left before reading days and finals. Yeah, you read that right, THE SEMESTER IS ALMOST OVER. It went by so freaking quick, let me tell you. And now that we've decided I'm graduating in April instead of August, that means I only have one more semester of college left. LESS THAN FIVE MONTHS UNTIL I AM A COLLEGE GRADUATE. I can't believe it. You think high school will take forever, and then college will, but no, it goes by waaaaaaaay quicker than you would think. And what sucks is that all of my plans are disapparating before my very eyes. I want to do the military thing, but all of the cutbacks going on are making that a very unlikely career at the moment. So what to do? I don't know. I would just get married, but we know how I am with boys.
Speaking of boys, I have a really good story for you all! Well, good as in funny, not as in it ends well. So there's this boy, whom we shall call Mr. Ballroom. Obviously, he's a ballroom boy, and he's in two of my classes. We met at the beginning of the semester, and in September he asked me out on a double date with his roommate, and I said yes, and it was a fine date. Free food, free ticket to World of Dance, and he's a nice guy to boot. However, I barely knew him at this point in my life, and decided that I didn't like him in that way. I was pretty sure he liked me after a couple of things (him walking me home after practicing for ballroom, for instance, when he lives almost eight blocks east of me), but I did not reciprocate those feelings. I mean, don't get me wrong, I thought he was super nice and we got along great, but I just wasn't attracted to him. Lame, lame, I know.
At least, this is what I kept telling myself.
I couldn't stop thinking about how much I didn't like him. Then a few weeks ago we had stake conference, and they had an engaged couple speak, and the female in the relationship said that she hadn't initially been attracted to her fiancee, but then she was. Combine this with some advice another ballroom boy gave me ("Men learn to love what they are attracted to, and women learn to be attracted to what they love," which I totally agree with, by the way), and BAM. One day I woke up and realized something.
I had a huge fat crush on Mr. Ballroom.
I couldn't understand what was wrong with me. I had spent weeks telling myself I didn't like him, and all that time I was running away from the truth. I liked him. A LOT.
My roommate Kexin was ecstatic. She loves Mr. Ballroom, and me, and she told me how she wanted us to date so we could get married and I would stay in Provo (since this is Mr. Ballroom's first year back at school after his mission, and he still hasn't chosen a major yet, I would probably be here another couple of years at least, and Kexin is a year or two behind me. We're bff's, if you couldn't tell haha). Of course, I don't want to be hasty, but I'd be lying if I told you it wasn't an appealing thought.
But now I had a dilemma. I liked Mr. Ballroom, but didn't want to wait around for forever for him to make up his mind. So I started flirting, and talking to him as much as I could, and invited him over for dinner (and he came, by the way, and then walked me to the Wilk for an audition before walking home himself). I thought he liked me back, and so did some of my friends.
Apparently, we were wrong. Or at least, partially wrong.
See, like I said, I didn't want to wait around for him forever, so I made up my mind that I was going to be bold and tell him that I liked him. And I did.
Except, I made it the most awkward situation possible.
On Monday we were walking together after class, like we usually do, and had hugged to say goodbye, but I was acting crazy and he could tell, so he said, "What?" Of course, I was losing my nerve, so I said, "Nothing." This happened a couple more times as we walked away from each other, and as Kexin (who is in one of our ballroom classes) and a few more people from our class walked out of the Wilk. So I sucked him up, crooked my finger at him, and he came back over to me. And then I said it. "Okay, I'm just going to put this out there...I really like. So...yeah...bye."
Yup. And he didn't say anything, just kind of nodded, and then I ran away like a little girl to choir. And proceeded to freak out about this on and off for the rest of the day. People told me that I needed to text him to try and remedy the awkwardness of the situation, which I did, and to which he replied, "Nah, don't worry about it, I understand. If you'd prefer to talk in person I feel it's more legit. Will you be around tomorrow?" So we made plans to meet after class, since choir was cancelled for break, and I reassured myself that this was a good thing. At the very least, it wasn't bad, because he wasn't avoiding me. So maybe things would end up with me FINALLY getting a boyfriend, the first of my college career!
That was NOT how the cookie ended up crumbling.
So we go and talk the next day. He doesn't really know how to start this conversation (would you?), but he starts asking the "What are you thinking/hoping is going to happen now?" question. I don't want to freak him out by telling him how much I want to date him, so I ask him how he was, because I felt like I had freaked him out, to which he replies that it was unexpected, but not a total freak-out for him. But then he says it.
"Well, I haven't really thought about this since coming home off of my mission, but I kind of like things the way they are right now. I just say we keep things the same and if something happens down the road, then cool." Or something to that affect.
And I say, "Yeah, this is hard for me too, since I'm graduating in April and don't really know what to do." When in reality, all I wanted to tell him was that we should date, or at least go on another date together. But I agree to just keep things the same, and I felt pretty content, because although the conversation hadn't ended as ideally as I had hoped, at least we were still friends.
But the more I thought about it, the more depressed I got. This was the first guy I had spilled my guts to in five years. And he hadn't even told me if he liked me back, which I thought he had, but apparently I was mistaken. So I talked to some friends, and I Skyped my mom, and have resolved that I still am not going to wait around for him to change his mind. There are other boys that I kind of like, but just don't know as well as him. So I guess we'll see what happens. In any case, I do not expect to graduate college dating/engaged/married.
So yeah, that's the drama in my life right now. How about something beautiful? That's right, it's time for Hottie of the Post! This week we're gonna go with Tom Felton, a.k.a. Draco Malfoy.
I spent too much of yesterday watching stuff about Harry Potter, and realized (or remembered) how smashing Tom actually is. And he is just adorable in his interviews, too. He's funny and nice, and he's British, so he's got the sexy accent to boot :)
Anyway, I need to get back to tearing my hair out about my research paper(s). I hope you all had a Happy Thanksgiving with your families and/or loved ones. I'm grateful to some friends for inviting me over to their place for their first married Thanksgiving. Ashley made some amazing food, and they were great company. But that is truly all for now. Ta ta!
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