So recently and again, gay marriage has become a hot button topic in the political world. North Carolina voted in favor of an amendment banning homosexual marriages, and shortly after President Obama came out openly in support of gay marriage.
In my church, we are taught that acting on homosexuality is a sin; we've repeatedly been told that we shouldn't be in support of gay marriage because it defies what God's plan is for the family. Towards the end of the school at BYU, there was a gay student panel made up of four homosexual/bisexual students that were brave enough to come out and discuss their struggles with same-sex attraction while still being faithful members of the church. It was one of the most inspiring things that I think has ever happened at my school, and I'm proud to have been there while it happened.
Being Mormon, we are often looked down upon for our church's view on homosexual marriages, and this can be really hard while also being from California. This is a topic that I personally have been struggling with for a while now. I want everyone to be happy, and logically this would mean letting all people have equal marriage rights; however, I believe the law of God to be above the law of man, and do believe that "wickedness never was happiness;" along those lines, since homosexuality is a sin, even if practicing it in this life makes them happy now, God will punish them for it after they die. Of course, this is not an argument I can use validly, especially among many of my peers who don't believe in God or believe that since we don't follow all parts and laws of the Bible, we shouldn't be allowed to condemn homosexuality because the Bible says so. There's the equally appealing argument that people use when they say that nowhere does Jesus actually condemn homosexuality, and I can't just say that we have modern revelation condemning homosexual practices, because only Mormons will believe that (and only the Conservative ones, for that matter haha). It's a ridiculously fine line to tread.
Now, I believe the greatest law above all others is to love everyone. I think many people misunderstand that when my church condemns homosexuality, it is not condemning homosexuals themselves; we love everyone, especially those that struggle with their homosexuality in a church that condemns it. They have some of the strongest faiths that I've ever heard of, and I love them for the bravery that they demonstrate on a daily basis. Rather, when the gospel condemns homosexuality, it is condemning the practice of it; there are many worthy homosexual members within our church that refrain from acting upon their urges and are able to hold temple recommends and callings worthily. We do not push out members for having homosexual tendencies.
Personally, I don't really know whether I'm in support of gay marriage or not. Part of me wants to stick with the gospel that I have been born and raised in (and believe in), while the other part of me hates to see earthly happiness restricted to so many people. I know, I know, there are those homosexual members in the church who end up in a heterosexual marriage and it ends up working out for them, and that's great; but honestly, I think those are the rare exception. More times than not, a gay Mormon is not going to end up in a happy and healthy heterosexual relationship. I feel like all people should be happy, but still have that nagging feeling in the back of my mind that gay marriage is not something God would approve of, and ultimately I care more about what God wants than what people want (call me crazy, but we all have our beliefs).
I know that from what I've written it mostly sounds like I'm against gay marriage, and I think that at my core, I am; I don't know how to justify the unhappiness of so many people, though, and it seriously tears me up inside. I know some of you are thinking, "Just support gay marriage then, that's the only way," but it's honestly not that easy, no matter how much you say it is. This issue is not as black and white as so many people on both sides think it appears to be. I wish that there were a way for gay people in the church to be able to have the same happiness as those straight members without having to go to such extremes as marrying a person of the opposite gender.
And I know that not all of you reading this believe in God, I get that, but that is my own personal opinion. I know you think that we're hateful because we support laws that restrict others' happiness, but I have seen plenty of hate come from your side as well. There's such a thing called "tolerance" of other peoples' opinions, and I feel that when it comes to the topic of gay marriage, there is very little tolerance on either side of the argument. Many extremists against gay marriage go too far in saying God hates gay (which is a blatant lie, because He loves everyone), but then there are those in support of it that believe those who support traditional marriage hate gays (which is not true; I support traditional marriage, but most definitely do not hate gay people). I respect your opinion; I may not agree with it (like I said, this is a topic that perplexes my soul), but I will allow you to believe it without bashing you for it. All I ask is that while I express my own opinion, you don't bash me for mine.
In my church, we are taught that acting on homosexuality is a sin; we've repeatedly been told that we shouldn't be in support of gay marriage because it defies what God's plan is for the family. Towards the end of the school at BYU, there was a gay student panel made up of four homosexual/bisexual students that were brave enough to come out and discuss their struggles with same-sex attraction while still being faithful members of the church. It was one of the most inspiring things that I think has ever happened at my school, and I'm proud to have been there while it happened.
Being Mormon, we are often looked down upon for our church's view on homosexual marriages, and this can be really hard while also being from California. This is a topic that I personally have been struggling with for a while now. I want everyone to be happy, and logically this would mean letting all people have equal marriage rights; however, I believe the law of God to be above the law of man, and do believe that "wickedness never was happiness;" along those lines, since homosexuality is a sin, even if practicing it in this life makes them happy now, God will punish them for it after they die. Of course, this is not an argument I can use validly, especially among many of my peers who don't believe in God or believe that since we don't follow all parts and laws of the Bible, we shouldn't be allowed to condemn homosexuality because the Bible says so. There's the equally appealing argument that people use when they say that nowhere does Jesus actually condemn homosexuality, and I can't just say that we have modern revelation condemning homosexual practices, because only Mormons will believe that (and only the Conservative ones, for that matter haha). It's a ridiculously fine line to tread.
Now, I believe the greatest law above all others is to love everyone. I think many people misunderstand that when my church condemns homosexuality, it is not condemning homosexuals themselves; we love everyone, especially those that struggle with their homosexuality in a church that condemns it. They have some of the strongest faiths that I've ever heard of, and I love them for the bravery that they demonstrate on a daily basis. Rather, when the gospel condemns homosexuality, it is condemning the practice of it; there are many worthy homosexual members within our church that refrain from acting upon their urges and are able to hold temple recommends and callings worthily. We do not push out members for having homosexual tendencies.
Personally, I don't really know whether I'm in support of gay marriage or not. Part of me wants to stick with the gospel that I have been born and raised in (and believe in), while the other part of me hates to see earthly happiness restricted to so many people. I know, I know, there are those homosexual members in the church who end up in a heterosexual marriage and it ends up working out for them, and that's great; but honestly, I think those are the rare exception. More times than not, a gay Mormon is not going to end up in a happy and healthy heterosexual relationship. I feel like all people should be happy, but still have that nagging feeling in the back of my mind that gay marriage is not something God would approve of, and ultimately I care more about what God wants than what people want (call me crazy, but we all have our beliefs).
I know that from what I've written it mostly sounds like I'm against gay marriage, and I think that at my core, I am; I don't know how to justify the unhappiness of so many people, though, and it seriously tears me up inside. I know some of you are thinking, "Just support gay marriage then, that's the only way," but it's honestly not that easy, no matter how much you say it is. This issue is not as black and white as so many people on both sides think it appears to be. I wish that there were a way for gay people in the church to be able to have the same happiness as those straight members without having to go to such extremes as marrying a person of the opposite gender.
And I know that not all of you reading this believe in God, I get that, but that is my own personal opinion. I know you think that we're hateful because we support laws that restrict others' happiness, but I have seen plenty of hate come from your side as well. There's such a thing called "tolerance" of other peoples' opinions, and I feel that when it comes to the topic of gay marriage, there is very little tolerance on either side of the argument. Many extremists against gay marriage go too far in saying God hates gay (which is a blatant lie, because He loves everyone), but then there are those in support of it that believe those who support traditional marriage hate gays (which is not true; I support traditional marriage, but most definitely do not hate gay people). I respect your opinion; I may not agree with it (like I said, this is a topic that perplexes my soul), but I will allow you to believe it without bashing you for it. All I ask is that while I express my own opinion, you don't bash me for mine.
Thank you for expressing your opinion. It's nice to know that people on the other side of this battle aren't as unrelenting as my side makes them out to be. This world has a hard time working in grey areas, especially when it comes to topics like this one. Just knowing that you aren't completely against homosexuals is heartening. It's hard to get along in a country where you're condemned for a simple belief, and I hope that one day both of our "people" can set aside their differences and just be friends. So again, thanks. It's nice to know I'm not alone in this grey area.
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ReplyDeleteDitto. I feel the same way. I try to avoid giving my opinion because I am not sure what my opinion is. I have several gay friends, who are great people and I value our friendship. I feel that although I don't agree with same-sex marriage, I don't think we should have laws against it (that was Satan's plan, wasn't it?) More freedoms are generally better than fewer in my book. However, if I ever had to vote for a law concerning the topic, it would be mighty hard for me to vote for same-sex marriage. I am also not too keen on the church being "required" to allow same-sex marriages in the temple. Whether or not that rumor is true, I don't know, I'm no law student, but who knows what might happen in the future? It will certainly be interesting to see how all this shakes out in the end.
ReplyDeleteI can't believe it's taken me this long to comment on this! I think that above all, you're taking the time to understand how gay people feel. That kind of compassion is sometimes rare. Good on you, Jori. Keep seeking to understand, that is really the important part.
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